Regret and Sorrow.

When you know what could fix you,
Is lost in a bridge burnt.
Regrets aren't as heady as the sorrow,
Selfish need more the cause of remembrance than love,
But thats life you say, you cant hold on to everyone
They aren't worth holding on to
Right now is life too, and its got its ups and downs
Regrets are for losers they say,
But then, what of sorrow ? 
Hidden it is a thing of beauty, poetic
Revealed, it makes one tiresome, 
Sorrow is inevitable, regret isn't. 
But then, what about 
When you know what could fix you,
Is lost in a bridge burnt ? 

Nightcap. (Part 1)

He can’t sleep. It’s the middle of the night and he wants to go to the bathroom. But there’s something underneath his bed. He’s only safe as long as he’s on his bed, under his blanket; his fort's never failed him yet.
He really has to go though, maybe if he jumped off the bed, as further away from the bed posts as he could, he’d be out of reach of whatever’s hiding underneath it. His brother’s sleeping next to him, with a peaceful expression and steady rhythmic breathing, oblivious to the danger. Of course, he is the one who’ll worry for him; it’s his duty to protect his baby brother.
Plucking all the courage he has, he makes a dash for it, a heavy thud where his feet touch the floor. He rushes to the bathroom and quickly closes the door behind him.
He hears a stirring, some grumbling. He’s woken up daddy. Daddy won’t be happy about it. Daddy might start screaming at him any moment now. A stinging blow across his face or back isn’t unexpected either. It will most probably be more than that.
It’s time for the commute back from the loo to the bed, he slowly opens the door, hoping against hope daddy isn’t outside.
Daddy isn’t outside. He thanks the God his mother tells him to thank. He’ll be a better boy from tomorrow so that daddy won’t want to send him away to that boarding school for bad boys. They scream at and hit bad boys like him over there.
He’ll make daddy proud someday and daddy will tell everyone he’s a good boy. And daddy will hold his hand and take him everywhere and tell people he’s daddy’s son.
He tiptoes back to the bed and from about two feet away jumps back up on. He jams his knee into one of the wooden posts and lets out an involuntary gasp. Thankfully not a very loud one. Daddy says only girls cry and gets angry when he sees tears. He rubs his knee to numb out the pain. He’s back in his blanket, safe and sound for another night. He slips out his hand, feels around for his brother's, clasps it and drifts into a peaceful sleep.
Next morning, mommy wakes them both up for school. He hates school but hes a big boy now and won’t whine, it annoys both mommy and daddy. His little brother, being a baby, is allowed to do so. Breakfast is a sandwich again, he doesn’t like sandwiches but mommy was very angry when she found the half eaten remains at the back of the TV lounge cupboard where he hid them.
Daddy is awake early today.

(This is my first attempt at fiction. I wrote it quite a while ago though. Part two of this coming soon IA :) )

Pre Exam Babble

I love how I want to write, right before the exams. Once again, I have nothing to say, but at least procrastinating here, I'll have something to show for it afterwards.


Firstly, and this is merely because I have no idea where this post will go, I can now type without looking at the keyboard. Yes, almost three years at university, and I finally learn a worthwhile skill. Yes, I am not here as much as I used to be, Im lazy. If anyone actually cares.


I think Im trying too hard here. I should just set another episode of Outsourced to buffer, yknow, since I took all of six hours to go through slides of two chapters of MBR.


This is too much effort right now. Actually, Imma go on typing just to see how many errors I make.
So, yeah, lets talk, pretending someones here. No one ever is actually. God Im such a downer today.


BLEKKKKHHHHHHHH


And somebody gonna get a hurt real bad soon. You ll know who you are, and its very likely you didn't check here for the heads up.


Stupid strike. Stupid exams. Stupid dogs who make me look bad.


Im completely sober right now. Promise.


Id end this post, but then that means back to staring at MBR slides.


The massi didnt come today. I chore-d. Not that its noteworthy, but just saying. I also have cash in my wallet again, and nothing to spend it on. I wish retail therapy excited me as much as it excites most other chicks. I wish I was the hard working type like most other chicks. I wish I get outta this lousy wistful phase.


Enough of self reflection, I'm  very rarely interested in what goes on in the other persons head, unless its connected to me, so I'm not gonna put anyone doing me the courtesy of actually reading the BS I just spouted through anymore of it. 


If mom catches me watching Outsourced I wont be able to use the Im-studying-leave-me-alone alibi anymore and she might make me help out. But I think she wont. Catch me that is.


I cheated during the Econ quiz, the second or third time since the tenth grade Ive done so. I dont even feel guilty about it right now. Though I cannot honestly brag about having an active conscience anymore. And I do not know how to spell "conscience" correctly. Not blaming my newly realized typing skills, but just my bad spelling ability.


I bought the MBR course book today, finally.


And then I lost it. Within a span of 25 minutes. On the walk from the photocopier to the gate.


If You're laughing up there, its not funny. And please get me an internship. Without a pawwa. And take me for a swim.


Its about time I started keeping a diary. Till then, well, this space is mine for the abusing.


Fack. Forgot to buffer Outsourced.